Top 10 Reasons Why its Great to be a Dog
Top 10 Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Dog
1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't evenhave to comb your own hair.
4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute.
6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you forhours.
7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about tablemanners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people.All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
To God - From the Dog
TO: GOD: FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cat ' s food.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
4 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5 . My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6 . I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
7 . I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
8 . Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
9 . I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
10 . I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
11 . The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.